


What is the Surface-Area of a John?

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Odd POV, almost shameless smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ponder John, begin to calculate him. Wonder exactly how much skin could be kissed, tasted, caressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What is the Surface-Area of a John?

Stare at John, ponder him. Catalogue every grey hair, every blond one. Calculate the thickness of the skin at the callouses on his hands, the ones that feel simply divine on the back, the thighs, the penis. Measure the length of the eyelashes, the width of the nostrils. Count every hair on his chest.

Run thumbs along the wide expanse of John-skin, and wonder exactly how much of it there is. This is a new question, one that has not been thought of. What, exactly, is the surface are of a John? Quickly grow frustrated with the fact that John-parts are not geometric shapes. John-legs are not cylinders and the twists and turns of John-ears are impossible to measure.

John-voice pleads, "God Sherlock, fuck me, please."

John's anal sphincter is on display. Grab a tube of lube (a perfect cylinder, blast it) and spread vanilla-smelling slickness on hands. Slowly work first finger inside John. Inside-John is warm and slightly damp, with small creases running along the walls of the anal cavity. Push one finger against John's prostate (catalogued three months and twelve days ago) and become alarmingly aware of arousal as John makes a noise low in his throat. Drip some more vanilla-slickness on penis (condoms were deemed unnecessary two months and seven days ago) and slowly move it inside John. Begin moving (after first noting the way Inside-John relaxes around penis when ready) and feel a shudder of pleasure. Grab John's penis (first seen by Sherlock-eyes four months ago). Move pelvis back and forth until orgasm is achieved (a toe-curling event, as always). Remove penis from Inside-John and use remaining adrenaline to flip John over (a weight of 173.4 pounds). Put John's penis (still aroused, an angry red at the tip) in mouth (first tasted three months and thirty days ago). Utilize mouth muscles until John's fingers grip hair and pull tight. Semen from penis enters mouth. Resist urge to swallow, a terrible idea (discovered three months and thirty days ago), and spit into red bedside cup.

Use still slightly-damp washcloth on bedside table to clean semen from John's anal sphincter. Throw thick down blanket over John's body, then slide underneath it next to John. Decide to bring a measuring tape and a protractor to next session of sexual intercourse with John.

**Author's Note:**

> I realize this was probably not the most arousing or long-winded smut, and I apologize. This is my first time writing smut, and my writing is usually short and to the point anyway


End file.
